The Only Negotiating Guide You'll Ever Need: 101 Ways to Win Every Time in Any Situation

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What Is Negotiation?

"Let us never negotiate out of fear, but never fear to negotiate."
-John F. Kennedy

What do you think of when you hear the word "negotiation"? Supporters of Al Gore and George W. Bush arguing about the proper way to count the Florida ballots in the 2000 presidential election? Microsoft and the United States government struggling to define the difference between fair competition and a monopoly? America Online and Time Warner working with the federal government to create a successful merger that will encourage free trade? A nervous investor in technology stocks asking a broker to wait twenty-four hours before executing a margin call? Most of us do tend to think of negotiations in terms of these win-lose scenarios.

In a research study of university students, the following question was posed to participants: How often do you negotiate--often, seldom, or never? Over 36 percent of the respondents answered "seldom" or "never." Actually, this was a trick question, since the correct answer should have been "always." Everything in life is negotiated, under all conditions, at all times. From asking your significant other to take out the garbage to merging onto the freeway in rush-hour traffic, from determining what time to schedule an appointment with a client to deciding which television program to watch with your family--every aspect of your life is spent in some form of negotiation.

Gerard I. Nierenberg, author of the first book on the formalized process of negotiation, The Art of Negotiating, and the man the Wall Street Journal calls "The Father of Negotiation," stated, "Whenever people exchange ideas with the intention of changing relationships, whenever they confer for agreement, then they are negotiating." The late Israel Unterman, a former professor of management at San Diego State University, expanded Nierenberg's definition slightly to note, "Negotiation is conducted neither to widen nor to breach the relationship, but to form a new or different configuration."

In short, most of us are involved in negotiations to one degree or another for a good part of any given day. Negotiation should be considered a positive way of structuring the communication process.

Typical Negotiated Transactions

Here is a list of some typical transactions in which you can improve your position by negotiating.

1.Price, terms, and accessory items on an automobile purchase.

2.Price, terms, and length of escrow on a home purchase.

3.Turnaround time and cost for car repairs.

4.Which evening television program your family will watch.

5.Which "free" features you will get with your cellphone service.

6.Your salary, vacation time, and job "perks."

7.Scope of work projects and time frame for completion.

8.Hourly rate to charge a new client.

9.Date for an event.

10.Which parties you will or will not attend during the holiday season.

11.A work schedule that is flexible enough to meet your family's needs.

12.Merger and acquisition terms.

13. Vacation schedules for employees.

14.The time of year you will take your vacation (business) and where you will go (family).

15.What price you will pay for, and what services you will expect from, an Internet service provider.

16.The shipping price and delivery date for a product.

Negotiation Situations

In what other areas in your daily routine could you improve your position by negotiating? List them here:

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How Good a Negotiator Are You?

Like any skill, negotiation can be learned, practiced, and mastered. Personal and professional growth in any area of life usually involves a combination of awareness and risk-taking. Fill out this questionnaire on the personal characteristics necessary to be a great negotiator. Your answers will help you determine where you have strengths as a negotiator and where you may need improvement. Circle the number that best reflects where you fall on the scale. The higher the number, the more the characteristic describes you. When you have finished, add up your numbers and put the total in the space provided.
1.I enjoy dealing with other people, and I am committed to building relationships and creating win-win outcomes.

1     2     3     4     5

2.I have good self-esteem and tend to have a high level of aspiration and expectation.

1     2     3     4     5

3. I work to create a comfortable, professional atmosphere.

1     2     3     4     5

4. I enjoy coming up with creative solutions to problems.

1     2     3     4     5

5. I am able to think clearly under pressure.

1     2     3     4     5

6. I am well prepared prior to entering a negotiation.

1     2     3     4     5

7. I am able to clearly identify my bottom line in every negotiation. (If I go below or above a certain point, I will walk out.)

1     2     3     4     5

8.I am willing to ask as many questions as it takes to get the information needed to make the best decision.

1     2     3     4     5

9.I communicate clearly and concisely.

1     2     3     4     5

10.I work to see each issue from my counterpart's point of view.

1     2     3     4     5

11.I confront the issues, not the person.

1     2     3     4     5

12.I focus on shared interests, not differences.

1     2     3     4     5

13.I look for ways to "grow the pie"--rather than simply dividing up the existing pieces--thereby expanding the relationship with my counterpart.

1     2     3     4     5

14. I do not take my counterpart's strategies, tactics, and comments personally.

1     2     3     4     5

15. I like to uncover the needs, wants, and motivations of counterparts so I can help them achieve their goals.

1     2     3     4     5

16. I recognize the power of strategies and tactics and use them frequently.

1     2     3     4     5

17. I know how to effectively counter a counterpart's strategies and tactics.

1     2     3     4     5

18.I am willing to compromise when necessary to solve problems.

1     2     3     4     5

19. When a counterpart and I come to an agreement on an issue, I ensure that the issue is measurable and time-bound.

1     2     3     4     5

20.I am a great listener.

1     2     3     4     5

Grand Total:

Scoring

90+: You have the characteristics of a great negotiator. You recognize what negotiation requires, and you are willing to apply yourself accordingly. Adding new strategies and tactics to your repertoire will enable you to be even more successful.

80-89: You have the potential to be a skillful negotiator. Reviewing the components of a successful negotiation and learning more about skills, strategies, and tactics will get you well on your way to being even more successful as a negotiator.

65-79: You have a basic understanding of successful negotiation skills. Studying the dynamics of building a relationship and learning the importance of understanding your counterpart's needs will help you make great strides in your negotiations.

0-64: You have taken the all-important first step to becoming a great negotiator by expressing a willingness to learn. Enjoy reading this book. Take your time, and you will begin to understand the principles outlined. Applying these principles will provide you with the tools and skills you need to negotiate with anyone.

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Negotiation's Four Possible Outcomes
"The real winners in life are the people who look at every situation with an expectation that they can make it work or make it better."
-Barbara Pletcher

A negotiation will end in one of four possible outcomes: lose-lose, win-lose, win-win, or no outcome (no consequences, negative or positive). In most situations, the ideal outcome is win-win.

Lose-Lose

Lose-lose outcomes result when neither party achieves their needs or wants. For example, a company requested that our consulting firm provide a proposal for conducting an employee opinion survey. After supplying an estimate, we thought we had the contract, but at the last minute, the client...

The Essential Guide to the Power of Persuasion

In The Only Negotiating Guide You’ll Ever Need, Peter Stark and Jane Flaherty, celebrated consultants to some of the country’s top companies, take the dread out of persuasion. Their 101 Winning Tactics make powerful negotiating skills easy and accessible, giving you tools and knowledge you can put to use right away. Each tactic is on a single page, with a clever and memorable name, a true-to-life example of how to use it, and suggested counter tactics in case someone tries it on you. All 101 tactics are so accessible and empowering that you will find yourself using them immediately--and maybe not just at work.

From the Trade Paperback edition.